In a galaxy, far far away…one tiny Atom in a sea of dark space collides with another universe and our universe is in motion. Our Solar System, our Energy, and our Earth have been morphing for 14-billion years! From one tiny Atom, physicists know bundles of particles and anti-particles manifested out of the brilliant energy. The particles of energy are always produced as a pair.
Did you know the ancient Greeks knew of the Atom, but they couldn’t prove it? The matter and antimatter story could certainly mirror the creation stories of yesterday and Plato’s understanding; “It was their very essence that had been split in two, so each half missed its other half.”- Excerpt from Symposium
For eons, the particles and antiparticles that make up a whole soul have been traveling separately, wondering if they will ever meet again. And when they finally do connect on earth, the world will witness the deepest, most profound eternal love.
The Twin Flame model has had an explosion of popularity in recent years. People of all sorts are writing about this very ancient but esoteric connection. When the esoteric becomes exoteric, the initiated knowledge becomes lost in the interim.
Many articles do state it is very rare to meet your soul’s counterpart. However, everyone and their mother is claiming to have met their soul’s counterpart, their twin flame. There is this notion that when you meet your soul’s counterpart, there is this Runner and Chaser phase that they go through.
In truth, all relationships have a Runner and Chaser.
But true lovers exude independence, and don’t have to control the other person with hurtful put-downs because they are not afraid of abandonment or engulfment.
What are abandonment and engulfment?
Abandonment and engulfment start when we are babies. Our caretakers are less than perfect people, and if they didn’t respond to our needs in a healthy way, we either respond as the seeker or sought. This is called Attachment theory in psychology.
“Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space.” – John Bowlby
Abandonment and engulfment have their roots in attachment. In every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, parent, child, or friend. We have a pattern where one person is the anxious/seeker and the other, the avoidant/sought. What is the seeker, anxious attachment style? The caretaker doesn’t respond to the baby’s cues and the baby can sense the coldness.
When under stress this baby cries and is distressed but when and if the caretaker responds, the baby pushes the caretaker away. The baby doesn’t feel safe and secure, but feels abandoned. When this baby grows up they will focus their attention on their relationships, fearing the other person will abandon them. They will most likely become a pleaser because they fear being abandoned. They want togetherness and focus their attention on the other person. But, they still carry with them the response to push people away with how they communicate. Their response usually comes out in a demanding or angry way, further pushing the other person away. This scenario becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy from their fear of loss.
What is the avoidant/sought? This baby was less likely to cry when they were stressed and remain indifferent to their caretaker’s response. This baby appeared to handle the stress with no outward appearance of distress. But when they took a closer look, their bodies underwent a lot of stress, but didn’t show it. When this baby grows up, they will get into relationships and act as if they want to be left alone. Their fear is to surrender to someone else; they want their space. They usually focus on projects as opposed to their relationship. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy too as they will get their space as they become more distant with their partners.
The ego hungers for wholeness, so we want to own the object of our love, as opposed to being identified with their traits.
Ideally, we need to switch from being the person who wants to be together, to the person who wants some space. This is not easy because switching brings up fear. The togetherness person fears loss and abandonment, thus cannot mentally detach from the other. They have a hard time being alone and seek the other, out of fear. The other feels smothered and conquered as if their space is being invaded. They feel left without their own identity and are afraid to be weakened by the other!
If we can switch back and forth, we create intimacy. The person who needs all togetherness can feel pursued when they stop abandoning themselves. The other will want to be close when they have room to move!
The ultimate is when the togetherness person not only gives attention but receives the affection from the other; and the other not only receives warmth but also gives devotion. This is the moment of intimacy, when we give and receive from an emotional touch of the heart! Intimacy can only last a certain amount of time. For that reason, we need to be in touch with our own fear and know we are good enough to be emotionally close — regardless if you are Twin Flames or not.
Here are 3 tips to prepare for your Twin Flame:
- Know your soul – “The Soul… is an androgynous subtle body existing in the imaginal realm, “mediating” …between formless Spirit and material substance.”- Psychologist Frances Vaughan
- Get in touch with your soul’s purpose, and this will lead you towards them.
- Know that every relationship has a Runner and Chaser. Your job is to transform the fear relating to your particular attachment style.