Discussing the difficult topic of forgiveness is never easy. For some, not forgiving someone or a past situation has been pent up for many years. For others, there is someone who can not forgive them for something they said or did either consciously or unconsciously. Or, it may be that they are unable to forgive themselves for something. Whilst the circumstances may differ, the overall negative impact on you is the same:
A detrimental effect on your mental and physical health and wellbeing.
The negative and positive effects of not forgiving
Ultimately, forgiving yourself or others means releasing resentment or anger. An internal energetic block has been created where you can go neither forward nor backward with regard to the individual or situation. This is extremely detrimental for your physical and mental health and well-being (and it has nothing to do with the other person). Whilst holding onto these negative emotions, the only person being harmed is you. It does not serve you and it risks your life span along with your overall health and well-being.
In studies, forgiveness has been shown to improve anxiety, sleep, depression, and stress. It also enhances your mood, vitality, and levels of positivity.
How to forgive someone who has wronged you
Forgiving someone is easier said than done. It can be challenging when someone has hurt you and there is no apology or sign of humility. You may have been treated badly by someone who you think had no consideration for your feelings, and you ask yourself: “How can I forgive someone who has treated me so dreadfully?”
Well, there are no situations that can not be forgiven, whether the injury was done by a family member, a friend, or colleague. Relationships, employers and even yourself can be forgiven.
How to forgive others and yourself
The following tips will help you to release those negative emotions and move closer to forgiving others:
- Acknowledge that being unforgiving harms only you. The buildup of negative energy takes a toll on your health and reconciling this internal imbalance will improve your well-being including sleep and stress levels.
- Make a decision to forgive. The negative energy and emotions you feel is a clear sign that you are not coping well and a release is needed.
- Allow yourself to feel compassion when forgiving someone, whilst recognizing that forgiveness is for you first, and others second.
- Release the emotion. The experience has changed you and it is time to continue your growth as you can now express the act of forgiveness.
When forgiving yourself:
- Taking responsibility for your actions is the first step. Recognize where the issue occurred and your role in it.
- Forgive yourself. Say it, write it, chant it, and feel it. We are all human, and occasionally we do something that is perceived as wrong or inappropriate.
- If needed, speak to others concerned. Apologize for what took place, but note that you are not seeking their forgiveness, but your growth and ability to move past the issue.
At the end of the day, you are the person responsible for your happiness. Living a life that is full and healthy, guilt and stress-free is your responsibility. Your health and well-being is your priority. Don’t let being unforgiving and harboring negative emotions prevent you from being the best person you can be!