Though personal transformation can be an exciting time bringing about new and positive changes, for those around us it can also be a scary and challenging time. Your loved ones may feel uncomfortable watching you change or say things such as, “I just don’t get it”. They may question your choices, offer unwanted advice, or show a sense of disbelief.
For this reason, you may find it incredibly tiring and disheartening trying to bring them around to your way of thinking. Even though it may seem difficult, getting those closest to you on board with your transformation is possible. Along with offering loved ones a little time to adjust, what is needed is good communication.
Keeping communication open with loved ones is vital when transforming your life
Speaking from experience, my own personal transformation created who I am today. Long overdue, I spent years building a high-profile career that looked from the outside as though I had it all. Yet, inside, I was slowly fading away both mentally and physically. It took a cancer diagnosis to finally stop me in my tracks causing me to confront the choices I was making and how I was living my life. As I finally came around to choosing a transformative path, one thing that surprised me was the reaction of those around me. Instead of celebrating my courage and fortitude to evolve, I found myself being challenged by those I love around every twist and turn.
In my mind, I expected everyone to understand and support my plans to give up my high-paying successful career and start from scratch in a totally new, and at the time unknown, industry. In their minds, they saw a woman throwing her life down the drain on hope and a dream! I felt annoyed, they felt confused, and there was no meeting of the minds, at first. I had to take a deep breath and a step back to realize that my loved ones were genuinely concerned and had every right to be. It became clear that a new approach was needed.
Had I known then what I know now, it would have saved everyone a lot of stress and averted the tangled web of miscommunication After all, change can be scary for all involved, not just for the person undergoing the transformation!
The importance of setting the scene for that all-important conversation
Often, the concerns from our loved ones in the face of change are the fear and worry over whether we are making the right decisions. Usually, this concern comes from a place of love – but is often lost in translation by the way they showcase those concerns. Fortunately, there is a conversation blueprint that I’ve found to be the most successful when setting the stage for healthier conversations with loved ones.
Over my years in practice as an intuitive healer, these seven steps have been used by clients worldwide who want to bridge the gap with their loved ones and finally be understood.
Transforming communication with a seven-step blueprint
1) Take responsibility
By taking responsibility in communicating with loved ones, I mean owning your side of the road! For many people facing a new way of living, there has often been a gradual build-up of realizations, which have been suppressed. Oftentimes this means that they have not been honest with themselves or those around them. Therefore, the first step in becoming an empowered communicator and truly connecting with your loved ones is to be honest with yourself first. Then, when you are ready, start the conversation off by taking responsibility for the ways you have been holding back, and authentically speak your truth.
2) Share what you are releasing
What are the ways you have been showing up in the relationship that you would like to release? For example, you could confirm that you have been holding back your truth and you are releasing the fear of speaking it. In the first step, taking responsibility piques curiosity and invites the listener to the conversation in a non-threatening manner. Secondly, communicating that you are releasing an old behavior sets the stage for introducing a more authentic communication style.
3) Share what you are creating
Begin to share the traits you want to create in your relationship with your loved one. You could share that you want to create a win-win situation in all conversations. It is valuable to let them know that you are open to their authentic thoughts and feelings. You may want to share more about your commitment to transforming and the huge sense of joy you are experiencing. Perhaps you’re developing more courage in the process or you’re feeling your confidence soar as a result of the transformative work.
By sharing what you are creating, you give the other person insight into the positive effects this transformation is having on you, and the potential it has to offer to those around you in the process.
4) Paint your future
A beautiful way of communicating your ideas with your loved ones and, thus, increasing that connection is by sharing the details of your vision with them. Paint the picture of your vision. Both the sweeping brush strokes and the fine details will give them a better understanding of your true desires. Use imagery to describe how your vision will grow and what role they play in your future vision.
5) Show them how they too can benefit
If you knew that your loved ones wanted to support you, but simply needed more information, wouldn’t it be generous to answer their questions and create certainty in their minds? This step builds the bridge between your beliefs and theirs by explaining how your future vision is a benefit not only to you but to your loved ones as well. Most simply stated, this is the step where they can choose to align with your vision by seeing the benefit to their own lives.
Share with them how your future vision includes you being more present from moment-to-moment and how that will benefit their desire to have more quality time with you. Perhaps you believe you’ll be a more loving and kinder person to be around in general? Let them know.
6) Suggest supporting them
Watching someone you love transform is empowering – and often encourages others to begin searching for their own new path. As human beings, we all have secret dreams and desires, but most of us are never asked what they may be. Use this time to discuss your wishes and wants, but also encourage your loved ones to share theirs. This will open up a natural dialogue and give you the opportunity to support them in their life vision.
7) Show gratitude
Finally, by showing those you love your deep gratitude for allowing you to share your truth, you’ll immediately create a deeper foundation of respect and love. Showing gratitude is a beautiful way to complete an authentic conversation where each person’s visions have been shared and honored.
Own your internal dialogue when transforming
When you’ve made the decision to transform your life, don’t wait to communicate it to your loved ones. Instead, get them involved the moment you decide you want to empower and change your life for the better. The key is to communicate openly and honestly from the start and empower your loved ones to ask questions, share their thoughts and be part of your transformational process. By incorporating some of the above steps, you can find common ground with your loved ones.
Equally these techniques allow you to become a master at communication as you start to transform your life and potentially the lives of those closest to you in the process.