To stop self-sabotaging behavior is a real-life challenge for all of us. Self-sabotaging behavior is so subconscious, that unless you know how to recognize it, it will keep you stuck spinning your wheels seemingly forever. What I have discovered is the number one way to stop self-sabotaging behavior, we must shine some light on what it is all about and understand it. Then we can start changing it.
Have you experienced something great happening and you feel unstoppable for a moment, only to be reminded of something else that makes you feel bad the next moment? No wonder we become weary of good things! It feels like every time we take one step forward, we take two steps back. It’s as if we expect and wait for the other shoe to drop. We expect the good that comes our way to be temporary. As if we get glimpses of magical possibilities but they stay glimpses.
It’s like you can’t really make significant progress. Overall, you effectively stay in the same place. Very frustrating, wouldn’t you say? But why and how does that happen? The fact is, if you don’t get what you want in your life and business, you don’t believe that you can have it. You don’t see yourself as having it. You don’t believe that you deserve it. Even though you consciously affirm to yourself what you want, deep down on a subconscious level you actually don’t believe you can have it.
Whatever you believe, your subconscious or your ego will orchestrate circumstances to prove that you are right.
I call it the self-image-ego-booby-trap
The ego is the guardian of your self-image. But remember your self-image was formed through your interactions with your parents and other caregivers in your life when you were a child. It’s here that we set the boundaries for what we believe is possible for us. It is here we decide that we are good enough, worthy and deserving of the best. Or as in the case for most people, that we are not good enough, unworthy and not deserving of enjoying the abundance of success, money, love, health, etc.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz said in his book Cybernetics, that you cannot outperform your self-image. And this is proven by our experience that we can put in a 1000% effort, but we get 1% progress. Your self-image drives your behavior in every facet of your life, because wherever you go there you are, as Buddha said. Who you ARE then, is determined by the thoughts you have about yourself, about your capabilities, about others, the world, your business, etc.
Thoughts are associated with feelings and the thoughts you entertain, including the self-talk in the back of your mind, determine how you feel most of the time. How you feel is your mind-body state and your energy vibration. Because you take action in alignment with your energy vibration, you get results accordingly.
For example, if you feel fear or that you are not good enough, then the action you would take (if you take any at all), would be from a disempowered position with expected dismal results. Whereas if you raise your energy vibration and feel empowered and good enough, then any action you take would yield awesome results. Do you agree?
Upgrade your Self-image
So, the question is how do you consistently upgrade your self-image so that it catches up with your vision of the life that you know you deserve? The short answer is to fall in love with your ideal self. To create a vivid crystal clear image of who you want to BE in every facet of your life. Write a whole new story of the role you know you are destined to play in your life. The more you play this role, the more will become the leading star of your awesome life, until you ARE your ideal self.
It’s to learn new habits of seeing yourself in a different light that is worthy of your true self. You want the idea of your ideal self to be aligned with your higher self as an extension of Source. What you need to know is that you are already more than good enough, worthy, unconditionally valuable and loved as a Being! If you can accept this as YOUR TRUTH, then all that needs to happen is for your faulty self-image to upgrade so that you can transform from the ugly duckling to the exquisite swan that you already are.
Now you are up against a major opponent, your Ego.
The thing that your ego dreads the most is change. And it will do everything in its power to keep you safe in your comfort zone. But that is actually your stuck zone. How do you outsmart it and more than that, get your ego to come onboard?
First of all, get to know your ego. Know its tricks and sneaky behavior. Know that every time you feel your energy vibration drops is that your ego saw an opportunity to upset your thoughts. It’s the Self-Image-Ego-Booby-Trap in action wanting to bring you back to your stuck zone.
When you know this, you can just breathe into it and whatever that emotion is, it will subside. Then, with curiosity, check in with it and ask yourself powerful questions to shift it. What is it about? Is it true? How else can you look at it? What do you accept as true about it? Then dwell on that for a while, raising your vibration even further.
Continuously step into the Being of your ideal self, play the role as if you are going to win the Oscar of transformation and you will!