When we want something, like really, really want something, it’s easy to get obsessed over it.
Maybe there’s a house for sale that you must have. Maybe there’s a management role at work that needs to be yours. Maybe you’re dying to meet your future husband. Often times, when we want something so badly, we become forceful about it. We begin trying to control every circumstance around it. We become obsessed with getting our desired outcome because we know, without a doubt, we must have this thing in our lives. Except, how many times have you tried to control the outcome, only for it not to turn out the way you wanted? Someone outbids your offer on the house. Your company hires externally for the management role. That guy you had an amazing first date with ends up ghosting you.
It happens. It’s life. And while it’s disappointing, if you learn to trust that what’s meant for you won’t miss you, you’ll learn to appreciate these detours. Yes, appreciate. Why? Because those detours are guidance from the Universe that are placing you back in the right direction. Maybe you didn’t get that house you wanted because it ended up having mold issues and would’ve cost you a fortune to fix. Maybe there’s a new position on the horizon for you at work, you just don’t know it yet. Maybe that guy you had a great first date with would’ve broken your heart down the road.
My heart is at ease knowing that, what was meant for me will never miss me and that what misses me was never meant for me. -Al Shafi’i
SEE ALSO: Do Positive Affirmations Really Work?
Surrender and get out of the way
Think back to the moments in your life where something didn’t work out the way you wished. At the time, it felt like the end of the world but now you’re incredibly grateful for the way it worked out. How about that high school break-up? At the time, you were so distraught. You couldn’t possibly love again. And now, you can’t fathom why you were ever so wrapped up in that person! Maybe your dream to work at Target’s corporate office didn’t pan out. But now, thank goodness it didn’t because you were able to realize your dream of running your own boutique.
We all have examples like this in our lives. We didn’t get the outcome we’d desired at the time, but in retrospect, we can see clearly that the thing we thought we wanted wasn’t actually meant for us. That kind of clarity doesn’t happen right away. Sometimes it takes many years for us to see why something worked out the way it did.
One of my favorite quotes from Gabby Bernstein is, “Your plans are in the way of God’s plans.”
I love visualizing a higher spirit looking down upon us with a knowing smile as we run around anxiously planning every meticulous detail of our lives. ‘They’re so sweet. They think they know,’ I imagine God saying lovingly. Our efforts to plan are valid and fair. We want to feel prepared. We want a game plan; a blueprint; a North Star. But when we grasp onto those plans with a firm, immovable grip, it only makes those detours from the Universe that much more painful.
So sure, plan to your heart’s desire, but be flexible about it because the Universe might have something better for ya.
Allow yourself to be lead
The way I started my blog is a great example of a detour from the Universe. Last winter, I was feeling particularly uninspired in my role at work. I was ready to move on to a new role but the position I really wanted had just been filled by someone else. I felt defeated and like the opportunity had passed me by. At this point, I knew I was starting to just going through the motions. When would my opportunity come? I was stuck on the idea that once I got that new position at work, I’d feel fulfilled again. I was certain it was the unlock to my happiness, but until then, I was going to be bored and stuck.
Then, a funny thing happened. I got this urge to write. Since I’d admittedly been “going through the motions” at work, it freed up space in my mind to wonder and dream. I decided I wanted to explore ways to maintain a positive attitude even though I wasn’t loving where I was currently at. So, I started writing in a Google doc I titled “Moments of Insight” where I’d write down things that inspired me or made me think throughout my day.
As I began writing every day, I noticed something new. Any time I wrote, I felt incredibly lit up and energized. I’d get a lump in my throat and energy would pulse through my body. This is crazy. I hadn’t felt this way in a long time. If ever, really. Eventually, it became clear to me that I needed to start a blog. I was feeling so lit up and inspired by the words I was writing, I realized maybe they could have the same impact on someone else. Two months later, I created Life by Alissa and it’s brought me so much more joy and fulfillment than I could’ve ever imagined.
If things had worked out according to my plan which was to move into that new role exactly when I wanted it, I would’ve been so preoccupied with learning a new position at work to even think about rediscovering my love for writing. God’s timing was perfect. I was clinging tightly to the idea that I needed to get what I wanted, when God was saying, ‘Hold on, I’ve got something better coming your way right now!’
Manifesting happens when we let go
Several months later, that role I’d wanted at work did indeed open up. By that point, I’d had plenty of time to prepare and practice, so I was more than ready to enter the interview process. By July 1st, I was in my new role at work while running my blog on the side. My point of sharing this story is to remind you that I got what I wanted when I let go of needing it to happen at a certain time, in the way I thought I needed it to happen. When I started focusing on finding other things that made me happy, I no longer had the grasping, desperate energy around it. I was content and fulfilled with what I already had, which put me in the right vibrational state to receive what I wanted.
When it comes to manifesting, two of the most important tactics are: letting go and enjoying what you have right now. If you need to have something happen on your timeline, you’re putting out desperate, needy energy which is super repelling. Think of people who act that way. You stay away from them, right? It’s the same way with the Universe. The Universe rewards the people who appreciate the blessings they already have because they see a person who’s going to really appreciate the infinite blessings that are to come. Instead of someone who’s like, “Okay, now I want this. Please, please, please. And then I swear I’ll be happy.”
Just remember, “What’s meant for you won’t miss you.” Trust in that, surrender it up to the Universe, and then focus on having fun along the way!